Pirates have captured a Ukranian ship carrying tanks and are threatening to use them.


The Ukranian ship Faina was innocently delivering a cargo of 33 tanks to an unstable dictatorship in Africa when it was boarded by pirates off the coast of Somalia.

Russian officials have condemned this act of privateering, and insist that they will not negotiate with the pirates.

 New Zealand's Ambassador to African Nations, Tom Worthing, expressed concern that this kind of pirate action could be used to fuel terrorism, or even help the pirates adapt to a life of plundering on land.

"We are concerned that if their demands are not met the pirates will move from the ocean, and adapt to a life of crime on the land using the tanks. In which case, may God have mercy on our souls"

The pirates are demanding a ransom for the return of the ship and its cargo.

"Yarr, now listen up you land lubbin', potato drinking sea hag Russians, if ye don't deliver us 47,000 dubloons and 600,000 pieces of eight ($5 million USD) by the end of this moon, you'll regret it. Arrgh!" said a spokesman for the Pirate's Union of Africa.

American Foriegn Affairs Department released a statement in which they have  added the African pirates to their terrorist watchlist.

"You are now on the world's most feared list, your days are numbered." said Secratary of State Condoleezza Rice, "America will come and take care of this threat to our future naval interests, once we've saved up enough money to fly our troops economy-class to Africa."

-By Sim's Associated Press (SAP)

How is it that I manage to fall asleep in a lecture where the topic is the infinite cosmos, with its turbulent suns, isolated planetoids, and rapturous novaes? Its a question I have come to ask myself quite often after signing up for Physics 107: Stars, Planets and Galaxies this semester.

At first I blamed my boredom on some mysterious device of evil, lurking deep within shadowy underbelly of the Old Biology Building.

Its purpose: to make sure Biology students find all other subjects boring and unbearable, as a way to retain the otherwise notoriously wayward Biology Majors locked into Biology papers.

This theory was soon disproved one night last week, when I took a torch and explored all the nooks and various crannies of the OBB catacombs. I discovered nothing of interest, least of all a device of pure evil,  however I did rescue a high school field trip class who got lost there in 1997.


The real reason for the boredom is quite simple, and is actually quite common in other kick-arse papers. It all comes down to the lecturer.

A lecturer is much more than just a vessel to store knowledge in, and then pour into the cups of those students who are willing to pay exorbatitant fees of tertiary education.They are figureheads of their subjects, they represent everything the subject has to offer, its many possibilities and unknowns. And in being a figurehead of an entire subject for 300 or so young impressionable minds, they have a responsibility to encourage intrigue and interest within their students.

Unfortunately, nothing kills the love of a subject more than a monotonous voice which recites word for word what is written in a textbook or lecture slide.This is what our lecturer does during Phys 107, and it pains me to see the flames of intrigue of space being extinguished on a daily basis within the hearts of my fellow students.


As I mentioned above, all his lecture material is taken straight out of his slides and book. Now this is a common practice amongst many lecturers, but they risk becoming redundant if they don't bring something to table which is more than just pouring us facts. What point is a man reading word for word out of a book, an act most primary school graduates can acomplish?


I remember going along to a Philosophy lecture with a friend of mine once. The blind lecturer, along with his 6 postgrad assistants rolled down the theatre in various clown costumes and began lecturing off his slides using the different clown characters in the examples of arguments on the screen. The lecture had me captivated for the full hour, and afterwards I was quite versed in how to pose an argument (and to do it with a silly clown voice no less) even though it wasn't an area which ever held interest for me.
 
I don't expect every lecturer to take to wearing costumes or other gimicks of this level to ignite the interests of their students, but small steps like adding some tone to the monotony and lecturing 'on the fly' could keep the flames of scholarly passion alive in the student body.

Luckily for me it would take a force of massive proportions (perhaps a very very very pretty girl) to steal my love of space away from me. So, until my lecturer learns to 'be a clown', I'm just going to learn about Stars, Planets and Galaxies the old fashion way -  with a telescope.

You guy(s) ever had a cool class or paper butchered by a teacher/ lecturer? Or on the other end of the scale, a teacher or lecturer who helped you fall in love with a subject? Give me a buzz.