Its ROCKTOBER *devil horns*, the one month in the year where avid rockers and groupies alike attempt to enlighten themselves and others in the way of rock by rocking out to the max.

This isn't the Sixties, where rocking out came hand in hand with bare-breasted hippy girls named Moonflower. The Noughties have been tainted with the poison known as Hip-hop, and rocking out has been made difficult for even the most die-hard of headbangers.

I have searched through my many fan letters to find questions posed by my loyal viewers, asking for advice on how to rock out this Rocktober *devil horns*. The following is a compilation of those questions, and a guide to rocking out which has been scientifically proven to improve rocking out by 20% and decrease signs of poserism in two weeks.


Who can rock out?

You are never to young to start rocking out and you are never too old to keep rocking.
 

Bands like the Rolling Stones have been rocking out since your parents were young enough to be hip, yet even today they manage to draw in crowds which pack entire stadiums, arenas, and (in the case of Brazil) beaches. Their music is as popular today, as it was those dark years before the advent of internet.

It also doesn't matter what race you are or what God you foolishly worship, because unlike some inferior versions the holy spirit of rock accepts all cultures (except those blasphemous Hip-hop ones).


How do I look like a rocker?

Its not enough just to have the rocking spirit inside you to rock out, one must be fully kitted out with the rock look and rock accessories to rock out to the max during ROCKTOBER *devil horns*.

1) Aquire a bandshirt, the more awesome the band the more awesome your rocking out will be.


A good band shirt is the easiest way to infuse yourself with rockitude. My American Indian forefathers, the Mohicans, would wear band-shirts to infuse themselves with the the spirit of their favorite bands before heading off into battle. This is why the Mohicans were such revered warriors, until the white man came across the sea, he brought us pain and misery.

2) Aquire a rock do, the crazier the hair the crazier your rocking out will be.



 This isn't as hard as it seems, because the formulae for a rocking hairstyle is quite simple. Contrary to popular belief, there are only THREE different styles of rocking hair - and to get the myriad of numbers of styles we see our modern rock heroes adorning, we need only mix and match these three Primary Rock Hairstyles.

3) Aquire a sleeve, the more epic the tattoos the more epic your rocking out will be.


Pink = Unacceptable
Skulls are encouraged.

I look like an awesome rocker, but I just can't seem to get my rock up. Help me Simmy.


Firstly make sure you are making your devil horns properly. You don't want to be rocking out all over the place only to find out next month that you were doing it wrong infront of all your friends.




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So what are you waiting for you rock-starved mosh-monkies, get out there and get rocking this ROCKTOBER *devil horns*.

To encourage rocking out during this holy month, I shall immortalize to any reader who leaves a comment with a link to a picture or video which shows them rocking out, by making a comic with them in it. At the end of the month if there are any I shall put them in a post, and link whore them. DOO IT!

I.Q tests were developed during the 1920s by French psychologists in an attempt to categorize French children into different groups of intelligence. The French I.Q test for children was taken and then bettered by American psychologists, who then produced a method of I.Q testing which most people are familiar with today - a version which has been described as one of the most influential scientific inventions of this century (trust the Americans to take the credit).

How the scoring works is that the participant's number of correct answers is compared to the average expected score of someone their age, this score is then multiplied by 100 which is only don to make the number prettier and more rounded. For instance:

participants score = 10
expected score = 10


ps10 / es10 = 1          

1 x 100 = 100 , thus the participant has an I.Q of 100.

This I.Q of 100 is also the statistical average I.Q of the human population, and most people tend to lie between 90 - 110. I myself have an I.Q of 132 (as of 2005, but I have lost many a braincells since then). Frankly I think using and I.Q test to measure one's intelligence is stupid and completely inaccurate (as seen by my result) as there are many different types of intelligence most of which aren't tested under traditional I.Q tests.

Bodily-Kinesthetic

This area has to do with movement and doing. People are generally good at physical activities such as sports or dance and often prefer activities which use movement.

Interpersonal

This area has to do with interaction with others. People in this category are usually extroverts and are characterized by their sensitivity to others' moods, feelings, temperaments and motivations, and their ability to cooperate in order to work as part of a group.

Verbal-Linguistic

Verbal-linguistic intelligence has to do with words, spoken or written. People with verbal-linguistic intelligence display a facility with words and languages.

Logical-Mathematical

This area has to do with logic, abstractions, inductive and deductive reasoning, and numbers.

Naturalistic

This area has to do with nature, nurturing and relating information to one's natural surroundings. This is the eighth and newest of the intelligences, added to the theory in 1999.

Intrapersonal

This area has to do with introspective and self-reflective capacities. Those who are strongest in this intelligence are typically introverts and prefer to work alone.

Visual-Spatial

This area has to do with vision and spatial judgment. People with strong visual-spatial intelligence are typically very good at visualizing and mentally manipulating objects.

Musical

This area has to do with rhythm, music, and hearing. Those who have a high level of musical-rhythmic intelligence display greater sensitivity to sounds, rhythms, tones, and music.


 
There is also suggestion of an emotional intelligence, but this seems to be contrite effort to be P.C and provide a way for every dumbass to feel that they are intelligent in one way or another. Lets just stick to the most reliable source of intelligence measurement : NCEA.

Disclaimer: Any resemblence the following comisode has to any George Lucas or Steven Spielberg projects, past or present, is purely coincidental. Viewers should be warned that by viewing this comisode, they waver all rights to sue on intellectual property rights.

The Quest to Resurrect Adam H's Character

Part Duex : Le Finale Crusade

This epic took so many hours which could have been spent more wisely socializing, economizing, or academizing. I promise my fan(s) that I will never attempt an epic ever again, truly this is my Last Crusade.