I somehow managed to ignore my cellphone's persistent alarm clock until 9am this morning. Obviously karma had been tampering with my phone again. This meant that I missed BioSci 106 and would miss BioSci 103. My only other lecture for the day was Phys107 and due to reasons mentioned in an earlier post, I was very much unwilling to make the 40 minute train ride into town for that. Instead I decided to spend the day at a local park flying kites and reading a book (The World Without Us by Alan Weisman, my loyal fan(s) must remind me to do a review on this some day).

Once I arrived at the park I unwound my stunt kite which I had lovingly named Arty (short for artificial bird analogue) and released him into his natural habitat. Defying my will to have him floating timidly in the air, Arty dove and swooped in rebellion like some sort of fluorescent rainbow colored bird of prey. Eventually I mastered the spool of string attached to his underbelly, and Arty was thus tamed.

Satisfied with my glorious battle with the inanimate child's toy, I took him down and sat down with the intent of reading my book. I opened to the book to the latest dog ear, when I noticed HER.

I'v never mentioned HER before on this blog, because I haven't seen HER since I've started posting here. Also I have no idea what HER name is (but I like to think that she looks like a Jenny), and was hoping to at least know that before I wrote about HER.

My momma always told me: "Girls are evil! Stay away from those evil creatures, you hear me boy!". She always told me to carry garlic on me to ward off their sinful ways, but I think she was starting to confuse girls for werewolves (or maybe she believed that they were the same thing?). She once had a nice chap down at the university do some research to prove that girls are evil.

Now, I know girls are completely evil and that I shouldn't have anything to do with them unless I want "my soul eaten out off of the bloody corpse that was once my body",but this girl is SPECIAL.



I usually see her during my Psych 108 lectures sitting by herself, but looking completely content with life. Sometimes, I look over and shes laughing at the same lame jokes that the lecturer makes, as me. She even freaks me out a little (in a completely good way) by wearing a bow some days. She seems intelligent, which is observable from the way she looks like shes in her own world when the lecture starts to plateau. But most importantly of all: shes SUPER FLIPPIN' HOT!
I assumed that she was some sort of super classy rich girl from out East or over the North Shore, so it came to me as a shock that she was in the same deserted park in West Auckland as I was. She was playing with her dog (a beast not a purse ornament) next to a playground  and I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to wander over and introduce myself. I've tried to talk to her before, but things always seemed to come between us...
So I start heading over, and I get my smooth walk going. I can completely imagine myself looking like one of the cast from Westside Story, but in my frame of mind this was the only way to walk over to a chick as classy as 'Jenny'. She catches my eye from across the park and smiles (or it could have been a grimace, I was too far away to tell ). So I'm walking and I'm walking when this man in a track suit starts walking over to her. I continue walking hoping the man is just taking a coincidentally identical trajectory on his morning old people walk, when he stops and gives Jenny a hug. Of course at this point I'm 5 metres from her, staring directly at her so I did what seemed most logical : leap into the nearest bush.

I stayed in that bush for five minutes before Jenny and old man pal left, which gave me time to think. I had a couple of theories as to who the old man was:

1) Her daddy
2) Her sugar daddy

I was hoping that it wasn't number 2, as that would completely force me to reconsider my image of Jenny.I was also hoping that nobody had stolen my book which I left on the grass, as I hadn't found out what would happen to the the nuclear powerplants if there were no humans left alive on earth.

I packed my kite into my trunk, then drove off home. I must admit, I was disheartened by the days defeat. But I am not a man to quit when karma kicks me in the balls, because I solely attribute this day to karma. Bernie, Adam H and I have all had our running ins with karma of late - muggings, beatings, car thieverings, girl dumpitings - so it just goes to reason that karma hasn't finished teasing us. I guess I'll have to make up for some past sins, before I can woo my Jenny.

Help me make up for past sins by giving me ideas to even up my karma. I've already tried joining St. John's, but they won't let me. I'm applying to be a volunteer firefighter, so hopefully that'll help, but I need something to keep me safe from karma until I'm finished my training and start saving people from fires.