The great month of November quickly approaches, carrying in its arsenal of goodies a plethora of events and holidays to better prepare us for that mother of all holidays: X-mas.

On November Eve (October 31st), Christian children, Pagan children, and Satanist children put aside their differences to engage in the sugar-fueled, tooth rotting orgy that is Halloween. We in New Zealand do not celebrate this holiday further than putting a white sheet over our heads and walking around in circles saying boo, but it is always fun to watch Americans on television going through the rites of All Hallows Eve on various sitcoms.

Then we Remember, Remember the 5th of November - Guy Fawkes Day. An opportunity for the masses who have been neutered by their diets of lattes and cappucinos, to reaffirm their manhood by exploding large quantities of magnesium and scare the living shit out of their pets.

November is also the month where parents celebrate the 9 month aniversary of their Valentines Day accident (think about it, November is 9 months after Valentines Day - meaning November babies were conceived around Valentines....eww for romantic parents). I myself will be celebrating my 19th glorious year on Earth, along with a number of my friends (including Matt W, who is no doubt still waiting for me to get him his present from last year). My birthday is the second result when you type in "November" in Google.

November in New Zealand is Prostate Cancer Awareness Month in New Zealand. Figures show that 1 in 3 men will be affected by some degree of Prostate Cancer, I have a vested interest in helping fund research into cures for this disease as I very much do not want to be "pissing razors" when I grow older. In New Zealand it is tradition (going back to the winter of 06') to grow a mustache and other forms of facial hair, to show solidarity for Prostate Cancer sufferers, in the month of November (hence November is colloquially referred to as MOvember).

I plan to participate whole heartedly this year, by allowing my face to be overun by manly strands of manosity. I implore all my readers, (even the females), to grow their own facial hair to support the cause. If you do not believe in Prostate Cancer, then perhaps you should grow it for your own benefit.